17 THINGS PSYCHIATRISTS DO

April 25, 2018

1. Diagnose any family members they dislike as having a personality disorder

2. Diagnose their consultant psychiatrist as having a personality disorder

3. At some point in their career diagnose themselves as having a personality disorder

4. Never examine a psychiatric patient without a chaperone

5. Sit next to the door when reviewing a patient 

6. Become the best secretary in typing ward round notes

7. Complain about any tribunal report they need to write

8. Female psychiatrists do not wear hoop earrings in case an unwell aggressive patient pulls them off

9. Male psychiatrists grow facial hair

10. Complain about any patient that has walked into the emergency room

11. Panic about keeping the patient alive when an emergency happens on the ward, as theres a delay for the ambulance to arrive

12. Try to psychoanalyse their partner in an argument

13. Get ready for the medical registrar (called SpR in the UK or Resident in USA) to laugh at them when trying to refer a patient to their team

14. Have an eccentric outfit they bring out at least once a year to work

15. Think they are the coolest doctors in medicine and that everyone else are idiots for choosing a different speciality

16. Want to quit whilst taking consultancy examinations

17. Try to organise conferences in which you watch films instead of listening to a boring presentation

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